I used to have more

I've had longer relationships
I've had more substantial relationships
I've kissed many boys
I've kissed many men

but none of them are as clear in my head as all of our firsts.


Taking it back....

I take it back, believing I was meant to be with someone.
That middle school mentality was right
because I sit here, on a Friday night, in a Starbucks alone.
I've lost the ability to recognize what makes me happy.
Everything is pretty bleh.
I'm taking a break from the one thing that's been consistent in my life since high school... and now what do I have.
I'm scheduled to work 10 days in a row and I don't mind.
It's better then being alone in my apartment with these thoughts.
I can't remember the last time I felt something good, something honest, something I could open my heart to. Well I do actually. I remember the exact moment, but that's not there anymore, so best not to think on it.
Back to other things I suppose...


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