I am noticing

I think I've lived the majority of my life in the shadow of other people. My sisters, my friends, my teachers. I've always followed what I was shown. I don't think I've ever done enough exploring on my own of what it is I want, what I like, the music I listen to, or the way I dress. I'm devoting the next month to that. And as a valid attempt on not procrastinating, I am starting early... here are a few things I've found so far:

Jonathan Safran Foer -

What a honest romantic. I haven't read any of his actual material, though I do own a movie adaptation of his book Everything is Illuminated. Hoping to pick up a copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close today. That seems like a good place to start. And I love his line "the cancer of never letting go". Its like you feel the line as you read it...is there a word for that?

"I went to a tattoo parlor and had YES written onto the palm of my left hand, and NO onto my right palm, what can I say, it hasn't made my life wonderful, its made life possible, when I rub my hands against each other in the middle of winter I am warming myself with the friction of YES and NO, when I clap my hands I am showing my appreciation through the uniting and parting of YES and NO, I signify "book" by peeling open my hands, every book, for me, is the balance of YES and NO, even this one, my last one, especially this one. Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it." — Jonathan Safran Foer

"This is love, she thought, isn't it? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?" — Jonathan Safran Foer

These 3 pictures come from a featured article on ETSY that I stumbled upon. The article was about hand made weddings. This wedding looks nicer then alot of professional one's I've seen. It seems that way becuase you completely get a feel for who these people are.
From the brides blue shoes, to their TV center piece and even the paper chandlier, completely unique. I need more of that. I want more of that. To be able to stand back and say "Wow, I've never seen that before"







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"I don't know" is not an answer.


There is no filter. From my heart to my mouth. I will continue to not grow up. To not grow old. To dream. To be. To push. To love. To feel. To cry. To tell it like it is. And to know in the end, no matter the outcome, that I am O.K. That there is too much to be happy about. That that is what life is about, to focus on that. To live in that. To be Happy.

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